WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.
CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.
Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.