POVERTY, n. A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the virtues and by their faith in leaders seeking to conduct them into a prosperity where they believe these to be unknown.

A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the "buffone", or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play.

Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.