SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.

FRYING-PAN, n. One part of the penal apparatus employed in that punitive institution, a woman's kitchen. The frying-pan was invented by Calvin, and by him used in cooking span-long infants that had died without baptism; and observing one day the horrible torment of a tramp who had incautiously pulled a fried babe from the waste-dump and devoured it, it occurred to the great divine to rob death of its terrors by introducing the frying-pan into every household in Geneva. Thence it spread to all corners of the world, and has been of invaluable assistance in the propagation of his sombre faith.

KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

To seek a justification for a decision already made.

HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.