OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground.

GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.

TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.

The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.

QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.

You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.