Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.

Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.

GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling.