STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.

Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.