STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: "The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses."

IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.