PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.

DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.