PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.

Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral. If mans notions of right and wrong have any other basis than this of expediency; if they originated, or could have originated, in any other way; if actions have in themselves a moral character apart from and nowise dependent on, their consequences-then all philosophy is a lie and reason a disorder of the mind.

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.