PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.

AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.