PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

Least said is soon disavowed.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.