At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.

An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.

TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.

Liar: A lawyer with a roving commission.

Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.