SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.