Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Ambrose BierceAt war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.
Ambrose BierceHomicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.
Ambrose BierceDEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.
Ambrose Bierce