Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.

IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.

In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.

OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.

Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.