Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

A penny saved is a penny to squander.

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.

An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

Woman absent is woman dead.

Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.