PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.