Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.

OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.

A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.

NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.