Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.