Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

MONOSYLLABIC, adj. Composed of words of one syllable . . . Commonly Saxon - that is to say, words of a barbarous people destitute of ideas and incapable of any but the most elementary sentiments and emotions.

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.

CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: "The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses."

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.