MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.

That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.

MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.