An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.