An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.