Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.

A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.

TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.