CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.

X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless last as long as the language.

Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.