PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.