AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.

PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.

War: A by-product of the arts of peace.

I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.

Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.