PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference

Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.

CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.