Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.

There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."

HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.