Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.