Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.

PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.

APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.