Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

PLENIPOTENTIARY, adj. Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it.

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.