Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

A man is known by the company he organizes.

ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.

A modern school where football is taught.

RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.