Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.

PRE-EXISTENCE, n. An unnoted factor in creation.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.