Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.

UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.

Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference

Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.