DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.

OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment . . . . judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be juded by the light that the doer had when he performed it.

Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need