I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that - stone walls do not a prison make.

Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.