An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.

Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election".

A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.