An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.