God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.

An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.