Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.

The wife, or bitter half.

QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.