NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.

WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.

RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.

ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."

COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.