NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.

Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

He laughs best who laughs least.