An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.

COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.