Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.

CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.

GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.