ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.

GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.

Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.

ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.