PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.

MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.

Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.