Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.

TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.