HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.

He laughs best who laughs least.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.