EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.

A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.