There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.