He laughs best who laughs least.
The wife, or bitter half.
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.