PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Woman absent is woman dead.

BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.

DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.