As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
Ambrose BierceExperience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
Ambrose BierceAge - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.
Ambrose BierceVITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
Ambrose BierceMiss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.
Ambrose BierceEFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other-which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.
Ambrose Bierce