A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.

Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic

Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit.

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.