SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.

PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.

EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.