APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that - stone walls do not a prison make.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.

I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.

Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.

TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.