Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.

RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

Die: To stop sinning suddenly.