Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.

Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.