Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.

PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.

ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.