KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.

Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.

Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.