KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

To seek a justification for a decision already made.

WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

A penny saved is a penny to squander.

The covers of this book are too far apart.