Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.

War: A by-product of the arts of peace.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.