Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

War: A by-product of the arts of peace.

ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.

Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.