Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.

I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.